The substances and the pattern
We can talk openly about crystal meth, sometimes called Tina or T; GHB or GBL, often called G; and mephedrone, sometimes called meph or M Cat. We can also talk about cocaine, ketamine, MDMA or alcohol when they have become linked with sex. Naming what you use helps us understand your situation. These substances have different effects and risks.
You may recognise long sessions, repeatedly redosing, losing sleep, spending more than intended, or going back to apps after deciding to stop. Perhaps the harder part comes afterwards: missed responsibilities, worry about what happened, or feeling unable to connect sober.
You do not have to fit a community or a label
I particularly welcome men who identify as straight and have sex with men, and men whose sexual encounters with trans women are linked with drugs or alcohol. Gay, bisexual and questioning men are welcome too. Attraction to a trans woman does not determine a man’s sexual orientation.
The focus is the pattern you want help with, its impact and the choices you want to make. Your attraction or your partner’s gender is not something to fix.
What we can work on together
- Recognising the sequence from a feeling or a message to arranging another session.
- Planning for app use, contacts, weekends and the moments you tend to start negotiating with yourself.
- Building support around cravings, setbacks and everyday responsibilities.
- Exploring what confidence, pleasure and closeness could look like sober.
We agree practical steps around your goals and review what happens between sessions. Where you need clinical treatment, sexual health care or specialist drug support, coaching can sit alongside that care.
Medical support comes first when needed
GHB/GBL dependence and withdrawal can be life threatening. If you may be dependent, seek medical advice rather than trying to stop alone. Mixing G with alcohol increases the risk of overdose. If someone collapses, cannot be woken or has trouble breathing, call 999 in the UK or your local emergency number.
Read NHS information about GHB/GBL. A sexual health service can also help with testing, prevention and concerns about consent.
Questions you may have
Do I have to identify as gay or bisexual?
No. You can use your own words for your identity, or leave labels out of the conversation. We begin with what is happening and what you want to change.
What if I only use with porn or cams?
You can still get in touch. Sexualised substance use can be something you experience alone as well as with other people.
Is this chemsex therapy?
This service is recovery coaching and mentoring. I am training in therapeutic counselling, but I do not offer these programmes as therapy, medical treatment or detox.